See, I always said werewolves are sexier… If you want to get bitten choose the wolf awooooooooo

Best and Worst of Horror

NO BRAD PITT: Don Rickles didn't exactly make teenage girls' hearts flutter as a vampire in COYOTE UGLY: Don Rickles didn’t make hearts flutter as a vampire in “Innocent Blood” (1992).

By C. Michael Forsyth

Next time you feel the cold breath of a vampire on your throat at night, don’t turn on the lights – because odds are the bloodsucker is butt ugly! While Hollywood movies typically portray vampires as pretty boys and supermodel types, the sad reality is that the vast majority have faces that would stop a clock, an expert says.

“Vampires typically prey on those whom they can easily jump at night,” reveals Dr. Casey Kierlam, a leading hematologist. “That means scab-encrusted vagrants, back alley prostitutes and meth-heads whose teeth are in frightful shape even before they are converted into vampires and sprout fangs.”

By contrast, androgynously handsome aristocrats and drop-dead-gorgeous movie stars are usually surrounded by bodyguards and entourages, and are far too well protected to fall victim to vampire attacks…

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