“The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.”

― Candace Bushnell, Sex and the City

I am terrible at pool. Yes, I am talking about that game where you use a stick called a cue to shoot a white ball towards other balls on a nice table that is carpeted in a beautiful green. I really suck at it, but I love pool. It is never about the game to me, it is never about winning. It is sometimes about the miracle of surprise if a great shot happens by accident.

But let me explain to you why I generally suck at the beautiful game of pool. As some pool players may know at the start of the game you break the balls using the white ball to determine who play the striped or the plain balls. Now one of the rules of the game is that if you shot all your balls into the pockets and after that shoot in the black ball, you win the game, but only if all your balls are in the pockets. AND you must not shoot your opponent’s balls into the pocket (hole) by mistake. Now when I play pool there is a 25% or higher chance that I will shoot the black ball in when I break the balls. Just my luck. During the game, there is a 45% I may shoot the ball into the hole before all my other balls are in the holes. Oh and sometimes I make a mistake at the end of the game when I try to shoot the black ball and shoot the white ball by mistake. Yes, I am terrible with pool.

But there are times, I say one game in a 100 where all these mistakes do not happen. Still, even if I am terrible at pool I love the game and I have a very weird reason why…

To explain let me tell you about a certain type of pool player. You get that one person that is a real *-hole. You know the one. He is a bad loser, a worst winner and thinks he is a god at playing pool. He makes other players feel bad about themselves. Now there is one strange law in the Universe, or some strange design by a (the) God, or a karmic rule or some weird lucky magic stroke of luck when I play against a person like that…

Wait for it…

Somehow I always win against a person like that. I don’t know why. The mistakes I usually make that person makes. Somehow my luck changes. And the game always ends up with Mr *-hole says:”But why, that guy I just lost too is a crappy player, why did I loose.”

Even I cannot answer that. There may be a ‘God of the Pool Table that said at my birth:”Wolfie will be terrible at pool, but as a gift, he will be my punishment to use on bad winners and sore losers.” I don’t know. I just know I love the game. I never play to win, because I suck at the game. But it is okay. I never play to win.

If there is a pool game at the end of the Universe. And there is a “Pool God”, one day I would like to play with HIM and tell Him:”God dude, you make funny jokes, but I sure love your sense of humour. Thanks for using me.”

(c) 2016 Allen Simpson

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